Managing the Ego
Recently I have found that when I start to write I am apprehensive. What I want is to represent my thoughts in a way that’s acceptable and appreciated. This is not the way I used to write - when to bang down an idea had no intention other than the exaltation of having found something of interest that was worth talking about.
Nowadays we can all do external writings via websites, blogs, Facebook, YouTube, etc. But every extraordinary observation has been done – Google it. When mice on one side of the globe learn how to do something, so too do mice on the other side. Hence my current trepidation in writing – it’s all been done before and usually better than I can do it.
But this should not be a reason to be anxious about writing since the act itself is its own reward. What is at work is an ego clamoring for the appreciation of an audience’s judgement.
The astrological element most associated with ego is fire and mixed in with fire’s egotistical flamboyancy, is excitement. The stuff of late-night parties and fun times. If we lack fire, we struggle to be assertive, become entangled in schedules, ‘he said – she said’ conversations, personal appearances and dramas. We want a deeper emotional involvement to make up for our lack of frivolity.
(June 14th - July 7th)
The difficulty with aligning lack of fire with negative assertive traits comes from our innate desire to go forward and explore that which we weren’t born with. The best are often the ones that start with the least.
How do we manage the ego? The best way is through the experience of moral defeat – the feeling of: ‘I’m better than that’. The ego feels happy when its accepted and defeated when not – this is the way of developing wisdom. Our lives develop in a search for an external ego expression that is the essential expression of ourselves.
Or you can do what a presenter once taught me – convince yourself that all are fools not worthy of your craft, hence elevating yourself so that your personal ego can be presented in its true form, without doubt of moral defeat. (This approach is short term and precludes the element of wisdom.)
If at last - ‘the fire goes out’ – what it leaves are the hot coals of profundity. No more questions about correctness or acclamation, but the feeling that this is what I have – all I have – and it has to be enough. No thought of right or wrong, just thoughts for improvement and furtherance without pride.
To manage the ego is to relegate it to a place of personal wisdom, substantiated by life’s experience and contributing to the matrix of evolution – the overall goal being happiness.